Moving Forward

This week has been a very tough one. I knew that Tom's passing would get me down, but I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. It seemed like every little thing I would do or come across, I would be reminded of a memory of him. I dug up old emails we had exchanged, looked a pictures, and relived some great laughs by talking to my mom. I cried five nights straight and five days straight. Not imagining how hard it must be to be his parents, when literally every move they made for 27 years straight was for the good intentions of their only child.
My mom spent an entire morning a few days ago with Tom's mom, helping sort out Tom's things and sharing in some laughs, tears, and wonderful memories of a man with so much more to give. My mom had found out that Tom was planning a trip to Southern California to see his cousin and had planned on visiting me along the way, she learned that Tom collected hats and kept stacks of journals. It was refreshing to see that there were still signs of the old Tom that I knew. The creative one, the funny one, the kind and thoughtful one. The Tom I am going to remember forever.
His memorial service is Saturday. I wanted to fly back home so bad to just be there for his family, as well as mine. I also have a wedding on Saturday in Boston. A good friend reminded me that Tom would have much rather me have a blast with friends than sit in a room and mourn. And she was right. I know that when I pass, I would rather my friends not only remember me, but remember those who are still present in their lives, physically. I am now reminded that we don't know when our last day is, we don't know when our loves ones' last day is, so we have to live our lives the fullest. We have to let people we care about know how much they mean to us. Moving forward, I will try my best to intend on doing that.
I also plan on a trip home in summer. To visit Tom's family, after the flowers stop coming in, the cards stop getting sent and visitors stop dropping by. I plan on letting them know what Tom meant to me and share in all the memories we had together, the ones I couldn't fit in one card.
I feel this trip to Boston couldn't have come at a better time. The bride-to-be, Kacie and I were college friends and the last time I saw her was when her mother passed away just shortly after Kacie graduated. She was an amazing woman whose smile, humor, and sincerity lives on in her daughter. I expect a lot of tears on Saturday, but happy tears. Tears that represent the great times we had with our loved ones who are no longer here and tears that represent the amazing times we have waiting us.

Yesterday is Gone

I was delivered the sharp reminder today on how short life can be and how we take it for granted time and time, again. I found out about the passing of a childhood friend, who I grew to think of as a second little brother. Tom spent almost every day at my house growing up, my brother and him joined at the hip. My parents and his parents the best of friends. Then, we all grew up and were faced with more adult situations and the wisest decisions were not always made.
When I heard the news of Tom's death this morning, I immediately shut my office door and sobbed for hours. The truth is, I hadn't talked to him in years, but once or twice through a social network message. I knew he had taken a different path that descended into a more darker place, which always pained me. I will always remember Tom as an incredibly smart boy with an artistic talent and dry sense of humor. I remember summer times when him and my brother would start impromptu splash fights in the pool while I tried to work on my tan, or slumber parties, when I would be forced to give up my choice on movie night, because the boys got first dibs, even our trip to Hawaii, where he wasn't seen as my brother's friend, but just another member of my family.
I'll always looked at Tom as the second younger brother, who was in a way, so much like my real little brother. Both boys became men whose lives may not have always been steered on the straight and narrow, but their intentions were always good.
Tonight, my heart and prayers go to Tom's parents, for he was their only child together. I hope they can remember the amazing memories Tom gave them and from that gather strength, to get through these hard times. Tonight, I mourn the loss of man who didn't even begin to show his truest potential in life. I mourn for a family who will never spend another holiday with their son, and I mourn for my brother, who lost a major part of his own childhood with Tom's passing.

Viva Las Vegas

Well, I am back after a whirlwind trip to Las Vegas. Of course, the pockets are empty, but I still managed to have fun. I knew my odds were pretty cut after my friend won 500 dollars off the bat at the slot machines. I knew right then, my odds were diminishing. That was the night before my arrival, so I didn't see the winning moment that would have made me green with envy.
Once I arrived in Las Vegas, I met up with my friends from Portland, Carrie, Kelly, Rachel, Shannon, and her husband, John Anthony. I set my bags down at our room at the Madalay Bay and we met up with Shannon's sister, Dawn and her boyfriend, Mark, who live in Long Beach. After I did arrive, we did what all crazy people with only two nights in Vegas do, we hit the town running. We reserved bottle service at Wasted Space, Carey Hart's new club in the Hard Rock. We had some friends already there for The Killers' show. So, with our bottle of Belvedere vodka, we danced, drank and got silly while VIPn' it in style. The only way to do Vegas.
The next day was recovery mode. There were a few dramatic moments the night before. Like what always happens when you get a gaggle of girls and ply them with alcohol; Luckily, I managed to stay out drama-free. The next day, was full of lounging and gambling and pool vegging. The night was full of seeing the sights, since two of the Portland girls, Carrie and Kelly had never been to Sin City before. We hit the Bellagio, Treasure Island, and walked the entire strip... in heels. But, it was well worth it.
The entire weekend was worth the drive both there and the eight-hour traffic-heavy trek back. I miss those girls in Portland and it's great when you can schedule a trip like this, even if it was only for a few days. Now, if I could convince work I need a few more days to be in recovery mode...

Happy 100 to The Office

This week was a fun and busy week. I covered "The Office" 100th episode celebration of in the Calabasas canyons. Super fun and I managed to hang out with my favorites from the show, as well as interview Steve Carell for the first time. A lot of media outlets were on hand to cover, but I don't think any of them received warm hugs from the cast like I did ;)
We spent most of the day in the middle of the celebration, which was literally located in the middle of nowhere. The next morning, I went up there with my web producer to cover some fun interviews with Angela Kinsey for her "Ask Angela" feature for the website. I managed to also bond a little with Jenna Fischer, someone I had not met before this week. She was super polite and we just kicked it her trailer, as Angela filmed her feature. The entire experience made me realize how lucky I am to have such a cool gig, as well as made me feel lucky that I am at the point where celebrity doesn't phase me. I am more comfortable with my interviews based on the attitudes of the people I hang with and not with the amount of how famous they are. Though, sometimes both are related.
Attached is the interview I conducted with Steve and a sample of the fun videos to come and a photo of my web producer and video producer next to the "The Office" 100th episode celebration cake. A cake that I regretfully didn't sneak a slice of :(
I leave to meet my friends from Portland in Vegas tomorrow. I no doubt, will have plenty of stories to share when I return!

Creative Outlet

I live in a city where it seems like nobody is doing what they came out here to really do. I came out here with no real agenda, therefore, I can't complain. I did land a pretty sweet job that only got better as I climbed the ladder. But, now that I have been at my job for three years, I would love find some other creative outlet to keep me busy/occupied/moving forward.
On Friday night, I attended the opening night of "Beneath Her Feet." A lovely play written by my friend, Laura Birek. The play got me thinking how great it must have felt for Laura to have her day to day job, also find the time to tap into her creative side and sit down and not only write a play, but be involved with searching for a venue and actors. I have promised myself to start finding that kind of free time in my own day to day schedule. I know it exists, I am just not looking hard enough. Would love to sit and and just write and then read what words came out. I have faith this will come together. Don't know if it will be a script or a comedy routine or something else completely random. I guess all I can do now is just stay tuned and to see what happens next!