Blast From the Past

Since moving to Los Angeles over three years ago, I have had my share of visitors from Oregon, Massachusetts, even Italy and Germany and it's been amazing. I love showing off the sights that this city has to offer, not to mention, always adding a little piece of myself into the mix, to show off what makes this city mine to begin with. But, nothing really could prepare me for my last visitor.
My ex, Peter came to visit me. A visit that had been a long time in the making and quite frankly, a reunion I thought would never happen. I hadn't heard from Peter in seven years. But, that wasn't to say he wasn't too far from my mind. We never had a tearing your hair out, screaming at the top of your lungs kind of breakup. It was amicable. We were meant to go down two different paths and that is what we did. The end. Through all of my travels, living in Massachusetts, Oregon, and California, he was in the back of my head. Not really as a boyfriend, just as somebody I cared about and was still curious about.
Through keeping in touch with the woman who originally set us up, his sister-in-law, Cara, I was able to find out Peter took a complete opposite path than I. A life more consistent with settling than anything else. Peter stayed in Pennsylvania, didn't find the ambition to do anything he really felt passionate about, fell for the wrong girls and now is a single and a father to a one and a half year old little girl. But, regardless, I was still curious to meet up with Peter, again. He always held a very special place in my heart and probably always will. After a few text messages and phone conversations, Peter bought his ticket out here. It was just like old times. No awkwardness, no lack of common ground. We were both slightly older and more mature and able to gather closure from the things we didn't say seven years ago. But, now it opens a whole new door I never imagined even trying. I was able to find all the qualities in Peter that made me fall for him years ago and he found in me, a life I had made out here for myself, but only lacking a partner to share it with. I was at peace with Peter, a feeling I hadn't had since my arrival. Does that mean a reunion in a relationship? I guess time will tell if we are both cut out for that. There is the subject of his daughter, his career, his family's input and my own decision to pick things up where we left off. If anything, I live by the motto to try everything once and fully encourage Peter to try LA on for size for three months and if nothing else, he can say it was a perfect fit for him or it didn't suit him, after that, the rest of his decisions will have to be made.
Of course whatever this relationship is, it's really testing my biggest flaw: impatience.

Long Time Coming

So, I know I haven't posted on here since my Mom's visit and that was what seems like a long time ago. The truth is, when I get very busy at work, as a writer, the last thing I really want to do is feel like I have to come home and blog. But, never the less, I can give a few brief updates of what I have been up to. Life for me has been keeping me steady. Summer is usually a down time for most, but for me, having two of the top-trafficked websites, that can keep you at work well past the hours it's time to go home. But, because it's me, I still try to manage and have fun wherever I can find it. Even if that means getting box seats with club house access to a Dodgers game with the Days of our Lives cast. Had a great time a few weeks ago with the crew. Sported my Dodger pride, had beer, a soy hot dog made especially for me and a nice extra-innings win for our home team. There are times the perks to the jobs are nice to take, even if sometimes feel you don't always deserve them and then it's nice to take the perks with the job when you really, really deserve them. This was one of those days.

Mom's Visit

So, I haven't posted in a while and I blame my crazy schedule and being that I work in front of a computer a lot of my time, it's hard to push myself that extra step and log onto a computer when I get home. I apologize. I'll update you a little and post a few pics. My mom came to visit me for a few days which is always fun. She managed to do everything she wanted to do while she was here, including taking advantage of my very hush hush work perks. In the end, it was all worth it just to see her so happy. We also got to go visit my nephew, Owen, he just turned one. He loved the surfing shirt I got him, as well as the very cute monkey. My mom on the other hand, made him this beautiful Peanuts quilt, using the same bed sheets Owen's dad, my brother, had when he was just a kid. It was very cool to see how touched he was from the lovely surprise. As always, I love when people visit me and my mom is no exception. She watched me surf some great waves, enjoyed some yummy meals and basked in some glorious weather. A good vacation for her, if I do say so myself. :)

I Love That Dirty Water...

I just got back from a fabulous whirlwind trip in Boston where I saw a very dear friend of mine from college get married. The wedding, itself was splendid as was catching up with faces I hadn't seen in years. The morning wedding went well into the night, complete with a backyard BBQ at Kacie's father's house and then an after-after party back at our hotel rooms. It felt like I was in college, again, complete with games like beer-pong and flip-cup. It was supposed to rain on the morning of Kacie's wedding, but I would like to think her mother above had a little hand in keeping the sun out and the clouds away on her daughter's special day.
The day after wedding, I drove to Boston, where I met up two of my very close friends from my dorm life in college, Caitlin and Alison. We did a little pub crawl and ended up back at their place, waiting on their third roommate, my friend, Jessica. We spent the night laughing and talking about memories and life. It was as if things never changed and were right back in our dorm rooms, again. I think that is what makes a very good friend in life, somebody that you can talk to any time, no matter how long it has been, but it still feels like just yesterday. The next day, Caitlin took the day off so we ate Dunkin' Donuts and watched Mamma Mia! in our pajamas. It was glorious. That night, we dressed up and went to dinner with the other two girls and Caitlin's boyfriend, who I was meeting for the first time. My final night was spent taking the T back into Boston and meeting my friend, Sarah, who works for the State. So, I got a first hand VIP tour of all the Government buildings and got to meet Sarah's friends and coworkers. Despite the rain, we were able to walk around Beacon Hill and ended up at Kinsail, a fun Irish pub for one more drink before I caught my plane that night. I was just lucky I checked in my luggage that morning before meeting up, took away so much stress that Logan airport can cause.
Now, I am back, missing my friends and catching up with the ones I have here. In the end, I just feel so blessed to have friends all over the world, but have somewhat continued to try stay in contact with them, even if there happens to be a lot of time in between.
My mom comes into town on Monday. It will be great seeing her, taking her to The Biggest Loser Finale, and also a nice Mother's Day dinner during the week. I am expecting another whirlwind seven days ahead of me.

Moving Forward

This week has been a very tough one. I knew that Tom's passing would get me down, but I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. It seemed like every little thing I would do or come across, I would be reminded of a memory of him. I dug up old emails we had exchanged, looked a pictures, and relived some great laughs by talking to my mom. I cried five nights straight and five days straight. Not imagining how hard it must be to be his parents, when literally every move they made for 27 years straight was for the good intentions of their only child.
My mom spent an entire morning a few days ago with Tom's mom, helping sort out Tom's things and sharing in some laughs, tears, and wonderful memories of a man with so much more to give. My mom had found out that Tom was planning a trip to Southern California to see his cousin and had planned on visiting me along the way, she learned that Tom collected hats and kept stacks of journals. It was refreshing to see that there were still signs of the old Tom that I knew. The creative one, the funny one, the kind and thoughtful one. The Tom I am going to remember forever.
His memorial service is Saturday. I wanted to fly back home so bad to just be there for his family, as well as mine. I also have a wedding on Saturday in Boston. A good friend reminded me that Tom would have much rather me have a blast with friends than sit in a room and mourn. And she was right. I know that when I pass, I would rather my friends not only remember me, but remember those who are still present in their lives, physically. I am now reminded that we don't know when our last day is, we don't know when our loves ones' last day is, so we have to live our lives the fullest. We have to let people we care about know how much they mean to us. Moving forward, I will try my best to intend on doing that.
I also plan on a trip home in summer. To visit Tom's family, after the flowers stop coming in, the cards stop getting sent and visitors stop dropping by. I plan on letting them know what Tom meant to me and share in all the memories we had together, the ones I couldn't fit in one card.
I feel this trip to Boston couldn't have come at a better time. The bride-to-be, Kacie and I were college friends and the last time I saw her was when her mother passed away just shortly after Kacie graduated. She was an amazing woman whose smile, humor, and sincerity lives on in her daughter. I expect a lot of tears on Saturday, but happy tears. Tears that represent the great times we had with our loved ones who are no longer here and tears that represent the amazing times we have waiting us.

Yesterday is Gone

I was delivered the sharp reminder today on how short life can be and how we take it for granted time and time, again. I found out about the passing of a childhood friend, who I grew to think of as a second little brother. Tom spent almost every day at my house growing up, my brother and him joined at the hip. My parents and his parents the best of friends. Then, we all grew up and were faced with more adult situations and the wisest decisions were not always made.
When I heard the news of Tom's death this morning, I immediately shut my office door and sobbed for hours. The truth is, I hadn't talked to him in years, but once or twice through a social network message. I knew he had taken a different path that descended into a more darker place, which always pained me. I will always remember Tom as an incredibly smart boy with an artistic talent and dry sense of humor. I remember summer times when him and my brother would start impromptu splash fights in the pool while I tried to work on my tan, or slumber parties, when I would be forced to give up my choice on movie night, because the boys got first dibs, even our trip to Hawaii, where he wasn't seen as my brother's friend, but just another member of my family.
I'll always looked at Tom as the second younger brother, who was in a way, so much like my real little brother. Both boys became men whose lives may not have always been steered on the straight and narrow, but their intentions were always good.
Tonight, my heart and prayers go to Tom's parents, for he was their only child together. I hope they can remember the amazing memories Tom gave them and from that gather strength, to get through these hard times. Tonight, I mourn the loss of man who didn't even begin to show his truest potential in life. I mourn for a family who will never spend another holiday with their son, and I mourn for my brother, who lost a major part of his own childhood with Tom's passing.

Viva Las Vegas

Well, I am back after a whirlwind trip to Las Vegas. Of course, the pockets are empty, but I still managed to have fun. I knew my odds were pretty cut after my friend won 500 dollars off the bat at the slot machines. I knew right then, my odds were diminishing. That was the night before my arrival, so I didn't see the winning moment that would have made me green with envy.
Once I arrived in Las Vegas, I met up with my friends from Portland, Carrie, Kelly, Rachel, Shannon, and her husband, John Anthony. I set my bags down at our room at the Madalay Bay and we met up with Shannon's sister, Dawn and her boyfriend, Mark, who live in Long Beach. After I did arrive, we did what all crazy people with only two nights in Vegas do, we hit the town running. We reserved bottle service at Wasted Space, Carey Hart's new club in the Hard Rock. We had some friends already there for The Killers' show. So, with our bottle of Belvedere vodka, we danced, drank and got silly while VIPn' it in style. The only way to do Vegas.
The next day was recovery mode. There were a few dramatic moments the night before. Like what always happens when you get a gaggle of girls and ply them with alcohol; Luckily, I managed to stay out drama-free. The next day, was full of lounging and gambling and pool vegging. The night was full of seeing the sights, since two of the Portland girls, Carrie and Kelly had never been to Sin City before. We hit the Bellagio, Treasure Island, and walked the entire strip... in heels. But, it was well worth it.
The entire weekend was worth the drive both there and the eight-hour traffic-heavy trek back. I miss those girls in Portland and it's great when you can schedule a trip like this, even if it was only for a few days. Now, if I could convince work I need a few more days to be in recovery mode...